友人发了个有趣的邮件，试着作了简译。
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede
their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

夫妻对决
一对夫妇驱车驶入乡间小路数里，一言不发。先前的一个讨论引发了争吵，双方互不相让。当他们经过一块有骡子、山羊和猪的谷场时，丈夫不无讥讽的问：“都是你的亲戚吗？”
“没错，”妻子毫不客气的回答，“我的姻亲。”

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

词
一个丈夫给妻子读一篇关于女人在一天中说多少个词的文章，
30000个，远胜于男人的15000个词。
妻子回答道，“一定是因为对男的我们什么都得再说一遍……”
话音刚落，丈夫转过来问妻子：“什么？”

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so
beautiful all at the same time.' The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be
attracted to you!'

创造
一天有人对自己的妻子说：“我不知道你是如何能如此的漂亮而又如此的蠢笨？”
妻子回应：“容我解释，上帝把我做得漂亮因而能够吸引你；上帝把我做得蠢笨所以我会被你吸引！”

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other
the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his
wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be
the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake
me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man
woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was
about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of
paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

冷处理
丈夫和妻子之间发生了点点问题，他们相互做冷处理。突然，丈夫想起来，第二天他需要妻子５点钟叫他起床去赶飞机出差。他不想先打破沉默的局面（同时认输），就在一张纸上写道：请在早上５点钟叫醒我。他把纸放在自认为妻子会看到的地方。
第二天上午，丈夫醒了却发现已经是9点了，早错过了飞机。丈夫暴跳如雷，正当要去质问妻子为什么不叫醒他的时候，发现床边放着张纸，上面写：5点了，快起来。

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before
the masterpiece.

对于这些类型的竞赛，男人生而不是女人的对手……
上帝也许在创造女人之前创造了男人，然而在杰作问世之前总少不了先打个草稿。
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个人觉得最后一句最绝！！！